Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"
Showing posts with label Jokesh In Long Form. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokesh In Long Form. Show all posts
Friday, December 18, 2009
Johnny's Thinking.............Excellent
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red." Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish." Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replys. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"
Jesus Is In The Bathroom
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
Daddy Johnny
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his Mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Beautiful
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
An Unlikely Stop
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.
"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.
"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!
How Many Kids?
Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."
Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."
Great Sex Coupon
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two hours!"
Getting Out of A Ticket
A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
Five Kinds Of Sex
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom!
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom!
Farmer needs divorce !!!
A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
Friday, December 11, 2009
Army Humor.......
There was this General-in-training , and his superiors were
asking him questions
"What happened on June 6, 1944?"
"We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as
D-Day, sir!"
"What was the turning point of world war 2?"
"Battle of the bulge, sir!"
"What's is the importance of May 12" The Man thought and thought
"I don't know, sir!"
The superior then said "Well, I'll tell your wife that you
forgot her birthday"
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel
was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the
phone,
told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass
along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to
hook up your telephone."
Time
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the
control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What
time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the
little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and
120 minutes to "Happy Hour.
asking him questions
"What happened on June 6, 1944?"
"We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as
D-Day, sir!"
"What was the turning point of world war 2?"
"Battle of the bulge, sir!"
"What's is the importance of May 12" The Man thought and thought
"I don't know, sir!"
The superior then said "Well, I'll tell your wife that you
forgot her birthday"
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel
was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the
phone,
told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass
along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to
hook up your telephone."
Time
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the
control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What
time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the
little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and
120 minutes to "Happy Hour.
Missing Wife Report.............
A man went to the police station to file a report regarding his missing wife:
Man: I lost my wife.
Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim - can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Man: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Man: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit - I don’t remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?
Man: Yes‚ my pet dog - Romeo‚ a Labrador - tied with a
golden chain‚ height 30 inches‚ healthy‚ blue eyes‚ blackish brown
hair‚ his left foot thumb nail is missing‚ he never barks‚ wearing a
golden belt studded with blue balls‚ he likes non-veg food‚ we eat
together‚ we jog together -- and then‚ the man started crying.
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Man: Excellent idea‚ sir!
Man: I lost my wife.
Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim - can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Man: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Man: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit - I don’t remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?
Man: Yes‚ my pet dog - Romeo‚ a Labrador - tied with a
golden chain‚ height 30 inches‚ healthy‚ blue eyes‚ blackish brown
hair‚ his left foot thumb nail is missing‚ he never barks‚ wearing a
golden belt studded with blue balls‚ he likes non-veg food‚ we eat
together‚ we jog together -- and then‚ the man started crying.
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Man: Excellent idea‚ sir!
Sardar, Excellent...
Santa Kafi deir baad pind aya Pind di mitti Sung k kehnda "Hun te mitti di khushbo badal gai hai"
Banta; Yeh mitti nahi... Sukki tatti hai
Banta; Yeh mitti nahi... Sukki tatti hai
Chooha - good one must read (Read in Hindi)
Ek Cheeta charminar Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek
chuha wahan aaya aur bola
"mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna
khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho"
Cheetay ne ak lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.
Aage ek haathi afeem pi raha tha, chooha phir bola,
"haathi mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere saath bhaago, dekho ye jungle
kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere sath duniya dekho"
Haathi bhi sath dorne laga.
Agay sher whisky peene ki taiyaari kar raha tha, choohe ne usay bhi
wohi kaha.
Sher ne glass side par rakha aur choohe ko 5- 6 thappar maare.
Haathi bola, "are ye to tumhe zindagi ki taraf le ja raha ha, kyon maar
rahay ho is bechare ko ?"
Sher bola, "yeh Kameena pichli baar bhi cocaine pi kar mujhe 3 ghante
jungle mai ghumata raha tha!".
chuha wahan aaya aur bola
"mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna
khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho"
Cheetay ne ak lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.
Aage ek haathi afeem pi raha tha, chooha phir bola,
"haathi mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere saath bhaago, dekho ye jungle
kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere sath duniya dekho"
Haathi bhi sath dorne laga.
Agay sher whisky peene ki taiyaari kar raha tha, choohe ne usay bhi
wohi kaha.
Sher ne glass side par rakha aur choohe ko 5- 6 thappar maare.
Haathi bola, "are ye to tumhe zindagi ki taraf le ja raha ha, kyon maar
rahay ho is bechare ko ?"
Sher bola, "yeh Kameena pichli baar bhi cocaine pi kar mujhe 3 ghante
jungle mai ghumata raha tha!".
Bad Habit
Watch Bad Habit
A growing up five years old boy had not been able to get rid of his habit of
sucking his thumb. Worried Mom tried everything from cajoling, bribery, to
painting thumb with unpalatable food.
Finally she threatened and warned the boy, "If you don't stop sucking your
thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon. "
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman
sitting on a bench. The five years old considered her with a pity for a minute,
then approached and consoled her saying, "Oh I know what you've been
doing."
A growing up five years old boy had not been able to get rid of his habit of
sucking his thumb. Worried Mom tried everything from cajoling, bribery, to
painting thumb with unpalatable food.
Finally she threatened and warned the boy, "If you don't stop sucking your
thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon. "
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman
sitting on a bench. The five years old considered her with a pity for a minute,
then approached and consoled her saying, "Oh I know what you've been
doing."
Monday, November 30, 2009
If seen movie "A Wednesday"...( Rephrased) for all the engineers...
Project Manager Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?
Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...
mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..
mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...
mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...
mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.
Project office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se ko bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..
I'm the same old ..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....
Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...
mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..
mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...
mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...
mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.
Project office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se ko bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..
I'm the same old ..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Missing Wife.......
A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:
Man: I lost my wife (misty)
Inspector: What is her height
Man: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Man: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Man: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Man: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was she wearing
Man: Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?????????
Man: Yes my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden
chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left
foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt
studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog
together…. And the man started crying…..
Inspector: Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!
Man: I lost my wife (misty)
Inspector: What is her height
Man: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Man: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Man: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Man: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was she wearing
Man: Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?????????
Man: Yes my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden
chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left
foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt
studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog
together…. And the man started crying…..
Inspector: Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!
Jack n Jill And Our News Channels...
Here’s how
the Indian TV news channels would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All
names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.
Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his
companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down
and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter,
Amrita Shah, takes up the story.
Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up
a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.
Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?
Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell
down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “hill breaks crown of
pail-boy Jack”]
Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?
Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We
know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell
down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an
eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.
Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and
broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Boy and girl tumble down
hill. Water spilled”]
Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are
they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?
Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Amrita
And what happened next?
Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown
Amrita
Go on.
Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.
Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business
to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the
other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Water errand ends in
tragedy”]
Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the
Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a
pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?
Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying
and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break
his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But
I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was
carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the
key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the
pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill
came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps
knocked Jill over as he slipped.
the Indian TV news channels would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All
names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.
Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his
companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down
and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter,
Amrita Shah, takes up the story.
Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up
a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.
Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?
Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell
down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “hill breaks crown of
pail-boy Jack”]
Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?
Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We
know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell
down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an
eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.
Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and
broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Boy and girl tumble down
hill. Water spilled”]
Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are
they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?
Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Amrita
And what happened next?
Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown
Amrita
Go on.
Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.
Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business
to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the
other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Water errand ends in
tragedy”]
Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the
Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a
pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?
Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying
and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break
his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But
I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was
carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the
key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the
pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill
came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps
knocked Jill over as he slipped.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Add This
Buy it and Enjoy IT
