Marriage Praposal...

*THIS IS REAL FUNNY - ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA. *

*RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT!

**MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH (DON'T LAUGH; DEAD SERIOUS)*

Madam :

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen
your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you
and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and
six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working
hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket,and I am a good
batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other
batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a
lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I
am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect
to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I
am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking
tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am
pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can
come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do ?
So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am
pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into
your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very
hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you
are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press
you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling
feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore,
Punjab