Funny, One Liners...

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist
in kitchen, artist in home& devil

in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
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What is the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
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Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

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Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?

Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
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There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may

never piss this way again."
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?

A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so.
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Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to

6000. So when would you like to start?

Santa: In 3 months.
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A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his
wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.

Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say
"Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
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Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"

Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

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